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May 6, 2007
"Seven Principles For Growing Lasting Friendships"
It's All About Relationships—Part 4
Ecclesiastes 4:9-10
You can't stay in your corner of the forest waiting for others to come to you. You have to go to them sometimes.
—Winnie the Pooh
You have made known to me the path of life; you will fill me with joy in your presence, with eternal pleasures at your right hand.
—Psalm 16:11
Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work: If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up!
—Ecclesiastes 4:9-10
Seven principles for growing lasting friendships:
1. Be loyal.
A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.
—Proverbs 18:24
The example of David and Jonathan: After David had finished talking with Saul, he met Jonathan, the king's son. There was an immediate bond of love between them, and they became the best of friends.
—1 Samuel 18:1 (NLT)
Question: How many close friends do you have?
2. Be thoughtful. (Friends choose to overlook a friend's faults.)
He who covers over an offense promotes love, but whoever repeats the matter separates close friends.
—Proverbs 17:9
The bad example of Job's friends:
Consider now: Who, being innocent, has ever perished? Where were the upright ever destroyed? As I have observed, those who plow evil and those who sow trouble reap it.
—Job 4:7-8
Key word: Acceptance
3. Be confidential.
A gossip betrays a confidence, but a trustworthy man keeps a secret.
—Proverbs 11:13
...a gossip separates close friends.
—Proverbs 16:28
4. Be honest.
Wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiplies kisses.
—Proverbs 27:6
An honest answer is like a kiss on the lips.
—Proverbs 24:26
Suggestions:
- Compliment in public, correct in private.
- Never rebuke a friend until you have proven you will take a rebuke from them.
- Correct them when they are up, not down.
5. Be constructive.
As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another.
—Proverbs 27:17
A righteous man is cautious in friendship,...
—Proverbs 12:26
Note: You will become like those you spend time with.
Do not be misled: "Bad company corrupts good character."
—1 Corinthians 15:33
6. Be dependable. (Faithful)
A friend loves you all the time, and a brother helps in time of trouble.
—Proverbs 17:17 (NCV)
Consider the hurt a friend can cause: Like a bad tooth or a lame foot is reliance on the unfaithful in times of trouble.
—Proverbs 25:19
If an enemy were insulting me, I could endure it; if a foe were raising himself against me, I could hide from him. But it is you, a man like myself, my companion, my close friend, with whom I once enjoyed sweet fellowship as we walked with the throng at the house of God.
—Psalm 55:12-14
7. Be respectful.
Seldom set foot in your neighbor's house—too much of you, and he will hate you.
—Proverbs 25:17
Taking it deeper: The best example of friendship is given to us in the life of Jesus Christ.
This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another.
—1 John 4:10-11
...I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you.
—John 15:15
The #1 reason people come to Christ—a friend.
I tell you, use worldly wealth to gain friends for yourselves, so that when it is gone, you will be welcomed into eternal dwellings.
—Luke 16:9
Lifework
True friendship is both challenging and exciting. It risks, overlooks faults and loves unconditionally, but it also involves being truthful, even if it hurts. Love is at the foundation of all that is meaningful in our relationships with others. Jesus calls us His friends and He laid down His life for us.
Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends.
—John 15:13
"The better part of one's life consists of his friendships."
—Abraham Lincoln